The Awk Spot: The Time I Was a Massage Virgin

Good morning friends,

Today is a perfect work from home kind of day. It’s rainy and gross, and traffic this week has been HORRIBLE with everyone being back to school and summer being unofficially over. Plus, that extra time I gained from not having to commute to or from work today is some much needed laundry and clean my room time!

For breakfast, I’m enjoying scrambled eggs, sliced peaches, and half a whole wheat and flaxseed sandwich thin with almond butter. Yum.

Before I get cracking on today’s workload, I’d like to share an awkward moment I’ve been giggling to myself about for a week now. Hence the title of this post. I’ve decided that anytime I write about awkward moments I will preface my titles with “The Awk Spot.” Get ready for them.

As you know, I treated myself to a sports massage on my birthday last Wednesday. The only other time I’ve gotten a professional massage in my life was on the beach in Mexico, where I just strolled up to the oceanside massage hut and laid down on the massage table.

Since I was in my bikini, I didn’t have to worry about that awkward “I’m going to leave the room, close the door, and let you get ready” moment that happens in an actual indoor spa. Last week I was NOT prepared for this. The massage therapist did her intro, asked me a few questions, and then left me standing in the room by myself staring at the 1) solitary robe hanging by a hook off the wall and 2) the massage table with one corner of the sheets turned down. Cue utter panic. What the heck was I supposed to do?! There were no instructions to leave my clothes partially on or take them fully off, lay over the sheet or under the sheet, and… what the heck to do with that robe!?Β  It couldn’t just be hanging there for no reason…

At this point, I realized that massage therapists are SO lucky because they must have so many different awkward scenarios that happen every single day. Not only am I sure they get some real hoots for clients, but how the HECK do they maintain composure when they re-enter that room and a client has chosen the completely incorrect option of how many clothes to leave on/off and where to lay down!?

For example.

I stripped down to just my underwear. Was I supposed to take those off!? I got nervous to so I left them on. Then I put the robe on because I thought it was the right thing to do! And then what did I do? I laid OVER the sheet, face down into that little headrest thing, and waited. Why in the world I thought laying on top of the sheet was the right choice is beyond me, but how was I supposed to know, as a massage virgin!? The therapist did the little knock after about 5 minutes, came back in, and was like… “Okayy, well, I’m just going to have you get under the sheet… and we’ll have you pull your arms out from this robe…” and something else that I don’t even remember because I was trying not to laugh out loud in that very moment.

There was actually nothing uncomfortable about it at all because the massage therapist was very nice and didn’t act like I did the wrong thing. But you bet she went home at night and said to her family, “you’ll never believe THIS client I had today…”

She probably told them about my stomach growling throughout the entire massage too.

Next time I will leave the robe hanging on the hook and get under the sheet. And I’ll have a snack before I go.

Questions of the day: Have you ever gotten a massage? If so, did you have any awkward moments during it?

Happy Wednesday, everyone!

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10 thoughts on “The Awk Spot: The Time I Was a Massage Virgin

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