On Living in the Moment

I think it’s obvious that the best part of my 2014 had nothing to do with this blog, fitness, food, or work.

Engagement in Gloucester

Engagement in Gloucester

July 4th 2014: Cake

Engagement BBQ: Girls

Engagement BBQ: Me and Tim

Tim and I got engaged smack in the middle of a year we’ve dubbed as our year of weddings. Even though we had 6 weddings in 2012 and 7 weddings in 2013, we had 8 in 2014 (one was in Missouri that only Tim could make it to). So much of last year was spent celebrating eight amazing couples, including some of my best friends in the whole world. It got a bit crazy at times, and I’m still not quite sure how we did it, but I wouldn’t change it. We are lucky to have so many wonderful friends in our lives, and we created so many memories during all the showers, bachelorette and bachelor parties, rehearsal dinners, and weddings that filled our latter part of the year. I’m only sad that I didn’t have the chance to recap each wedding and wedding related event how I would have liked to on F&F!

2014 Bridal Showers

2014 Bachelorettes

Weddings 2014

Weddings 2014

Aside from all the wedding fun, some of my other favorite parts of last year include:

winter weekend getaway with Perfect Vermont,

Perfect Vermont: Tim and I

my April trip to Chicago with Ashley and Jen,

Chicago Bike Tour2

tons of other gym friend fun,

Gym Friends Hike

Gym Friends at BoMa

Gym Friends at Jen's

Gym Friends Pink Party

Mango Porch Friday

Studio Empower

running my first obstacle 5k,

AHA 5k Heart Challenge 2014

a Memorial Day getaway to Falmouth,

Falmouth + Memorial Day 2014

multiple New Balance Girls Night Outs with blog friends and all the other fun blog stuff I got to do this year,

New Balance Girls Night Out

New Balance Girls Night Out

going to the Boston Magazine health and wellness retreat,

Boston Magazine's Health and Wellness Retreat

having a week off over the 4th of July to spend at home with each other,

Staycation: Kayaking

Staycation 2014: Wingaersheak Beach

becoming an official wellness coordinator at work,

Wellness Coordinator

spending my 29th birthday in Newburyport,

29th Birthday in Newburyport

picking our wedding venue,

Zorvino's

and spending some time in our happy place.

Maine Vacation: Cape Porpoise

That’s what comes to mind first.

The time spent with Tim.

Valentine's Day 2014: Snowy Seaport

Homemade Pretzel Night

Hopster's Brews and Boards

Apple Picking 2014

Tim and Me on a Fall Hike

Somerville Harvest Fest 2014

Five Year Anniversary

The Lion King

Portsmouth NH 2014

Christmas

The time spent with all our friends.

Reuniting with Jess and Eileen

Erins 30th Birthday

Matt's Birthday

Jeff's Birthday

Boston Marathon 2014

Wilmington Friends

Coach of the Year

Harpoon Brewery Tour

Staycation: Geoffs 30th

Staycation: Pool with Slesh

Gather Boston

Halloween 2014

Wes's Baptism

Cate's 30th Bday

Thanksgiving 2014

Shannon's Christmas Party 2014

Wally World Christmas 2014

NYE 2014

And the time spent with family.

Layla's 5th birthday party

Papou's 85th birthday party

Greek Easter 2014

Mother's Day 2014

Gregs 15th Birthday Party

Red Sox

Father's Day 2014

Engagement BBQ: Lexa and Layla

July 4th 2014: Summer Shanty

Dads 60th Birthday

Oaktoberfest 5k Race & Taste

Thanksgiving 2014

New Bedford Christmas 2014

Christmas 2014

The things that DON’T come to mind right away when I think about last year?

–The nights worrying about getting everything done

–The time spent feeling anxious about my messy apartment

–My type A to do lists

–All the stress and frustration from work

–Feeling like I *should* post something on F&F every day

You guys get the idea. And yet, I know that I wasted so many nights just worrying, worrying again, and then worrying some more. I get so wrapped up in this idea of perfection, being able to do it all, and being able to do it all RIGHT NOW. It’s crippling sometimes. When you look at someone else’s highlight reel and think they must have their shit so perfectly together and organized, let me tell you, it’s not always the case. So many people ask me how I do it all, and you know what? I don’t. I make sacrifices. I have bad days.

I mess up. 

So many of the pictures from last year capture the feelings we were feeling at the very moment the camera went off. They show us living in the moment. And I want to do more of that for the rest of 2015. I want to stop thinking about the next place I have to be, the next meal I need to prepare, and the next thing I have to do. I don’t want to feel bogged down by too many commitments, emails, and too many people asking me to do things. I want to put my phone down. I want to leave work undone if it’s too stressful at the moment. I want to leave the dishes in the sink and a let a blog post go unwritten.

I want to create more space and just enjoy being present. 

I want to plan our wedding and actually relish in the experience together, not rush it.

But I know I can’t have everything and do everything at the same time. 

I just need to remind myself that when I look back like I enjoy doing around this time each year, it’s not all the time spent worrying I’m going to remember.

Engagement in Gloucester

What I’m going to remember are all the times truly spent living in the moment.

Readers, let’s chat! What are your tips for being present and living in the moment? How do you control endless worrying or always thinking about what’s next on your to do list?

Tips For Dealing With Negative People

If you follow me on social media, you may have seen my post selfie workout picture from last night.

Post Workout Picture

If you don’t follow me on social media, you should. Here’s a shameless linking to my Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram pages.

Anyways, along with the above picture, I posted the following status:

Guess what people?! SMILING and being appreciative is way easier, nevermind healthier, than complaining all the time! Tonight’s smiling post workout selfie is dedicated to just sweating off all the negative vibes around me lately.

I’m seriously struggling with the amount of naysayers in my life right now. I’m not going to use this post to ramble on and on with complaints (because then I’d be a little hypocritical, no?), but I just don’t understand how anyone can have that much to whine about. Or that much time to do it!

You know what I want to start calling these people?

Energy vampires.

Because when people are overly pessimistic, it just sucks the energy right out of you, even after your conversation or interaction is over. And lately I feel like I am surrounded by negative nancys and can’t escape. It’s like being surrounded by a bunch of walkers in The Walking Dead, except I guess then we’d be talking about energy zombies instead of energy vampires. Either way, all the negativity is leaving me drained, extra cynical, and to be honest, completely burned out.

So instead of letting all the energy vampires suck all the passion right out of me, last night I resolved to first go to the gym and get a kick ass workout, something that always helps my mood. I was awkwardly bear crawling all over the gym, through and around people giving me all sorts of weird looks. I did another bodyweight deadlift, and I felt AWESOME when I left. During my workout and on my drive home, I thought about how I can try to remove myself a bit from all the negativity bubbling up lately.

If you are dealing with something similar, whether at work or in your personal life, here are some of my tips for dealing with negative people:

  • Breathe: Sometimes taking a deep breath or two before responding to someone who has nothing positive to say can really help you stay positive yourself.
  • Empathize: Try to put yourself in the other person’s shoes to see where they are coming from.
  • Don’t argue: Usually there is no rationalizing, and it just adds fuel to the fire. You might not be able to control the other person, but you can control your reaction to them.
  • Wait to respond: If you can, wait before interacting with the person. I know for me, if I let something go until the next day instead of responding right away, it helps because I’m no longer in the heat of the moment.
  • Disengage: If doing the above doesn’t work for you, simply disengage. You don’t have to get together with people who “zap you” (something we talked a LOT about at the health and wellness retreat I went to this weekend). You don’t have to respond. You simply don’t. You don’t have to give in to toxic co-workers, family members, or friends.

Aside from the above, some of my favorite strategies include hitting the gym, going for a long walk outside, listening to upbeat music, cleaning (yup!), spending time in the sun, reading, or having a glass of wine. And maybe some chocolate. Or some chips and salsa. With extra guac. 🙂

Walt Whitman Sunshine Quote

I’m not sure where to source this from, but I saw this quote on Caroline’s Instagram this morning, and it’s just what I needed to see.

Let’s chat–
Do you
have any negativity going on in your life right now? What are your tips for dealing with negative people?

Here’s to hoping this is all just lingering from Friday the 13th and the full moon last week!