Tips For Dealing With Negative People

If you follow me on social media, you may have seen my post selfie workout picture from last night.

Post Workout Picture

If you don’t follow me on social media, you should. Here’s a shameless linking to my Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram pages.

Anyways, along with the above picture, I posted the following status:

Guess what people?! SMILING and being appreciative is way easier, nevermind healthier, than complaining all the time! Tonight’s smiling post workout selfie is dedicated to just sweating off all the negative vibes around me lately.

I’m seriously struggling with the amount of naysayers in my life right now. I’m not going to use this post to ramble on and on with complaints (because then I’d be a little hypocritical, no?), but I just don’t understand how anyone can have that much to whine about. Or that much time to do it!

You know what I want to start calling these people?

Energy vampires.

Because when people are overly pessimistic, it just sucks the energy right out of you, even after your conversation or interaction is over. And lately I feel like I am surrounded by negative nancys and can’t escape. It’s like being surrounded by a bunch of walkers in The Walking Dead, except I guess then we’d be talking about energy zombies instead of energy vampires. Either way, all the negativity is leaving me drained, extra cynical, and to be honest, completely burned out.

So instead of letting all the energy vampires suck all the passion right out of me, last night I resolved to first go to the gym and get a kick ass workout, something that always helps my mood. I was awkwardly bear crawling all over the gym, through and around people giving me all sorts of weird looks. I did another bodyweight deadlift, and I felt AWESOME when I left. During my workout and on my drive home, I thought about how I can try to remove myself a bit from all the negativity bubbling up lately.

If you are dealing with something similar, whether at work or in your personal life, here are some of my tips for dealing with negative people:

  • Breathe: Sometimes taking a deep breath or two before responding to someone who has nothing positive to say can really help you stay positive yourself.
  • Empathize: Try to put yourself in the other person’s shoes to see where they are coming from.
  • Don’t argue: Usually there is no rationalizing, and it just adds fuel to the fire. You might not be able to control the other person, but you can control your reaction to them.
  • Wait to respond: If you can, wait before interacting with the person. I know for me, if I let something go until the next day instead of responding right away, it helps because I’m no longer in the heat of the moment.
  • Disengage: If doing the above doesn’t work for you, simply disengage. You don’t have to get together with people who “zap you” (something we talked a LOT about at the health and wellness retreat I went to this weekend). You don’t have to respond. You simply don’t. You don’t have to give in to toxic co-workers, family members, or friends.

Aside from the above, some of my favorite strategies include hitting the gym, going for a long walk outside, listening to upbeat music, cleaning (yup!), spending time in the sun, reading, or having a glass of wine. And maybe some chocolate. Or some chips and salsa. With extra guac. 🙂

Walt Whitman Sunshine Quote

I’m not sure where to source this from, but I saw this quote on Caroline’s Instagram this morning, and it’s just what I needed to see.

Let’s chat–
Do you
have any negativity going on in your life right now? What are your tips for dealing with negative people?

Here’s to hoping this is all just lingering from Friday the 13th and the full moon last week!

Words for the Weekend + Core Strength Tip #2

find balance

I’ve been thinking a lot about balance lately, as I’m feeling really good about my mental state of mind lately.  I feel like I am not being so hard on myself.  I’m making time for things besides work #1, work #2, blogging, and cleaning.  I’m taking nights or chunks of my night to just watch TV or grab a beer just because and not feeling so guilty about it.  I’m getting more sleep.  I finally feel like my head is above water, and I’m working really hard to keep myself there and feel, well, more balanced.

The theme of balance ties into my core strength tip to wrap up week #2 of the 31 Day Abs Challenge, as improving your core strength truly will improve your physical balance.  If you are someone who feels like you become unsteady in the shower or can’t keep a stable feeling while walking upstairs with many bags in your hands, it might be time to add some core strength training into your repertoire.  Think about it – as you become older, a lot of times fitness is about remaining functional, moving, and avoiding falls.  It’s really important to start with your core strength training when you are young, because while it’s great to help sculpt your body into looking the way you want it to, it’s also helping prepare you to be more self-sufficient when you get older.

That being said, my core strength tip for this week is to add some more balance work into your core strength training.  Throw off your equilibrium a bit!  Here are some ways you can do that:

Ways to Improve Balance

Pick some new equipment.  Some great equipment that can help you improve your balance and core strength include stability balls, bosu trainers, medicine balls, or balance boards.  Try your planks on a stability ball, your pushups on a bosu, or your squats on a balance board.  Your core muscles have to work that much harder, and they have to work collaboratively with other major muscle groups, to keep you balanced and prevent you from falling.

Stability Ball Plank

Work unilaterally.  This means working one arm or one leg at a time, which will throw you off kilter a bit.  Even something like sitting on a stability ball and doing overhead presses, but working one arm at a time instead of together, will challenge your core muscles.  Or do a bench press with one arm at a time instead.  Pick simple exercises you are used to doing bilaterally, and you’ll be surprised at how conscious you will be of the small adjustments your body will need to make to keep you centered.

Change your stance.  Sometimes adjusting to a split stance instead of a wide stance will throw your balance off a bit.  Or even harder, standing on one leg!  You would be amazed at how much harder simple bicep curls are if you do them standing on one leg instead of standing steady on two.  You can even change your stance while working horizontally.  While in your plank, the further apart your feet are the wider base of support you have and the easier the exercise will be.  Trying bringing your feet closer together, or lifting one leg up at a time, during different exercises, and I promise you’ll feel a difference!

Reverse Plank with Leg Lift

Stay away from machines!  I’m not saying to never use the machines at the gym, but think about how much harder your body is working when you are doing free weights or body weight exercises.  For example, when you are doing leg presses on a machine you are pretty much working your legs only.  But if you do a body weight exercise for lower body, such as squats, you are not only working your legs but your core is engaging more as well to help keep you balanced as you squat down and up and not just sitting in the machine.

Do yoga.  Think about how long you hold positions for sometimes in yoga!  There are several different types of yoga out there today, but find one that is right for you and you can enjoy improved balanced, flexibility, range of motion, and strength.

yoga 2

 

Try small things throughout the day.  Once you become comfortable with balance work, try finding small ways to sneak it into your day-to-day routine.  For example, balance on one leg while pumping gas.  Take a few seconds to try to stand on one foot while closing your eyes.  Closing your eyes makes everything harder, so you could even try closing your eyes while working out!  Stand on your tiptoes while waiting in line.  Every little thing counts, and all the little things over the course of a day add up!

What is your favorite way to add balance training into your workout routines? 

I hope this helped you guys!  Have a great rest of your Saturday, and I’ll be back tomorrow with Week 3 of the Ab Challenge.  Catch you later!